Some Come With a Plane Ticket

Friday, I woke up in Paris.

It wasn’t planned.

I plan everything.

To the detail. I have a color-coded planner and a backup planner.

Neither one mentioned France.

But Friday, I woke up in Paris. I sat in a quaint café eating a croissant, sipping a café au lait, and watching people shuffle to work.

A week earlier, I was mapping out the days ahead, still hungover from deciding to cancel a leadership event I’d spent months and a lot of money planning. I refunded all four tickets.

Strangely, it felt good.

I’ve been here before. 

The end of a commitment. That giant exhale after accomplishing something significant. Where you need a high-powered telescope to see where you started. 

But this was different.

I didn’t get the satisfaction of a job well done. I felt good about a job not done.

That same week, my friend Jean, who is studying in Rome, texted me to ask if I wanted to see Celine Dion. She had an extra ticket. 

“Where is the concert?” I texted.

“Paris,” she replied.

I texted, “Stand by.”

In about 20 minutes, I’d secured a dog sitter for the day and a half until Glenn got home. I’d interviewed dog sitters days before. Just another item on my to-do list in case Glenn and I wanted to get away for the weekend. Or if someone called and asked me to fly to Paris for a concert. 

Once settled into the first leg of a fourteen-hour flight, I realized that if I hadn’t let go of the event, I would have said no to Paris. Too much to do.

Yet I knew I’d regret not going.

And research backs that up. Psychologists Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Medvec (1995) found that people tend to regret what they did in the short term, but in the long run, they regret what they didn’t do.

“People tend to regret what they did in the short term, but in the long run, they regret what they didn’t do.”

As I listened to Celine Dion, tears rolled down my cheeks. Partly because of her powerful health journey to get back to the stage. Partly because her voice was pure and angelic. And partly because I had become the kind of person who hops on a plane at a moment’s notice and flies halfway across the world for a weekend.

Not every finish line comes with a medal. Some come with a plane ticket.

What are you holding onto that’s taking up a seat in your life? 

Source: Gilovich, T., & Medvec, V. H. (1995). The experience of regret: What, when, and why. Psychological Review, 102(2), 379–395. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.102.2.379

Next week: Why I started filling my calendar the moment it emptied, and why that was a mistake.

À bientôt!